I was quite embarrassed and amazed by her keen observation since I myself had been wondering and searching for the answers to those phenomena. Why do girls, with healthy, beautiful skin and fine complexion wear such heavy make-up, usually with the cosmetics of same color and same tone, to cover up their individualities? Why do they have to be hooked up or wired up all the time? Do they really have that much urgent business while they are attending classes or studying in the library? What percentage of their allowance are they spending on cosmetics and on personal communication?

We talked about the many differences between Korean and American campus cultures. On an American campus, one would never find so many girls with such uniform make up. While cellular phones are popular in America, they are no where nearly as visible on campus as in Korea. We concluded that the make-up and cellular phones in Korea are actually two sides of the same coin and represent a fundamental difference in the culture of the two countries: The prevalence of collectivism in Korea versus the widespread individualism in America.

We Koreans feel uncomfortable when someone in the group is different in any possible way, whether the difference is in clothing, make-up, behavior, or even in thinking. Not only does the person himself or herself feel uncomfortable but the rest of the group feels the same. The different individual feels insecure and isolated and fears that he or she might be rejected. For most Koreans, the sense of isolation is the last thing they can cope with. They define themselves in relation to other people; they believe in connections; and they feel comfortable in the pack. The uniform make-up is the perfect mask that hides one's differences, and the cellular-phone is the perfect gadget for making sure one is connected with the pack.

Young students, in spite of their wish to 'strike out', end up following fashions and fads because it is easy and comfortable to hide individuality under the mask to look the same and to belong to the group. Without realizing it, they become weak and vulnerable to the ever more aggressive commercialism in the capitalist economy.

Identity or individuality is inherent in each person. No two individuals look, think, or behave the same, not even twins. And that is the beauty of human society. As pieces of a puzzle with different shapes and colors fit into a beautiful picture, individuals with different looks, talents, and thinking build a healthy and dynamic society.

Unlike most American students who have been trained to be independent even before they leave home to go to college, Korean students, especially girls, are hardly ever given chances to be on their own or to make their own decisions. After surviving the strict regimentation of high school life, they are suddenly set free upon the entrance of college. Few have even had a chance to think about what to do with their new freedom. All they want to do is to try out things that have been forbidden for a long time, like using make-up, trying hair-do's, and wearing fashionable clothing. The fashion and cosmetic industries are more than willing to lead them. Superficial similarities provide a false sense of camaraderie, and can be a barrier to accepting different ideas and pursuing diverse intellectual goals.

It takes courage to be different from your friends since you have to start by setting out on a self-searching journey all by yourself. Your identity is what makes you different from any other person. It is what is so unique that you can not share with anyone. The journey may be long and lonely. You have to be unhooked and disconnected from the group you used to belong for a long time. You have to look into yourself and think very seriously what you really want to be and to do.

Finding your differences is only the beginning. You have to cultivate the differences with care and put value onto it and grow it into your identity. The identity you create will represent you and eventually help you find your place in the society, and destiny.

Once you establish your own identity, it becomes a source of inner strength and you will feel confident with your unique self. Instead of hiding under the mask of make-up, you will want to express your real self, and will become proud of being different from others. You will feel independent to enjoy the freedom of not being connected or wired all the time.